Acceptance

Easter Sunday our pastor handed out a little booklet about four different people who were all looking for acceptance. I read it the other day and felt compelled to write a bit about it. I feel like all of us are looking for acceptance through out life. From our parents, our bosses, our friends. We want to feel accepted. Social media has made it even worse with people that "like" your status or now can even "love" your picture. I'm sure we can all relate. The more "likes" you get...the better you feel. Why is that? It's all ingrained in us to want acceptance and some of us will spend our whole lives searching for it. In the booklet there are 4 different types of people. Glen- the man living to die. Looking for acceptance through parties, drugs, alcohol and feeling good for the moment. Then there's Ted. The guy next door that does anything for his neighbor. He wants to be Better than everyone else and feel he is doing his part to be good enough. Next is Sarah. The women who volunteers for everything at church and is the head of PTA. Bakes all the cookies, and is the leader for many church events. She is searching to be accepted by doing everything she can. The last one is Mike. He feels accepted already and is living his life based on what God calls him to do. He will tell you about his God and how he is a Christian if you go to lunch with him, but does it in a humble way. He knows it's not about him.

Ok, so who are you in this group of people? I kept thinking to myself that I have been every single one of them. A few years ago I was staying at home with no child. I felt so inadequate and had to volunteer for everything. I loved it so much. But now that I think about it I may have been doing it to be accepted by God. I wanted him to be pleased and felt like I had to earn it.

At this time of my life I finally feel like Mike. I'm not trying to say that I'm the best Christian ever. I just feel so safe and secure in my faith that I am not looking for anyone to accept me. Right now in my life I have been struggling so much since I'm not able to volunteer as much as I would like. I felt inadequate for awhile. God has really shown me so many things in my time of being at home and being a mom. I have a friend that is singing in the choir at church and she wants me to get involved. If she would have asked me a year ago, I would have jumped up and said, "YES>>>Right now!! I'm in" but since I've been moving so much and not able to jump in the last two years it's taught me that I don't have to volunteer to feel good about my faith. This is not to say volunteering is bad. Because it's just the opposite. It's the best feeling in the world. However, I don't know if I was doing it for me or to feel accepted by God. Sometimes I felt that what I was doing here at home wasn't good enough. I have a whole new perspective on this now. I'm taking my time and want to get involved soon. I realize that God wanted me to give all my time to this little man right now and that was good enough for him and should be good enough for me.

So Glen will never find happiness in those parties. Ted will always find someone better than him and he will keep striving to beat someone else. And Sarah will push herself until she breaks. Acceptance is real. Everyone needs it. Who are you looking to get accepted by? God accepts you for you. You don't need to DO anything to be loved. Such a great feeling. :)




Yesterday M and I went to the little park by my house and we sat in the car for a bit and snapped some photos. He is so much fun and loves to give me big smiles now! Hopefully I can get some good 2 year old photos of him soon!

I knew he loved corn so last night I made us some corn on the cob. He had so much fun trying to eat it and was cracking me up. Hopefully he won't have corn stuck in his teeth for weeks to come.

I made some fun little cookies before his nap. 2 ripe bananas, 1 cups of oats and a handful of chocolate chips. They are actually pretty good and Micah thinks they are cookies. I hope he will eat the rest of them or I might!!

Happy Thursday.

WARNING: Graphic photo

Hey there. Ok so I was looking at my scars on my belly and wanted to share with you all how far I've come in 9 months. I feel back to normal and even with some scars (that I love now) I am happy with my recovery. It took awhile for the bruising to go away. Also, the cut on my belly button looks way better now. It's good to remember this journey and everything that came with it.

Sorry if this was too much information, but that's what you're going to get on my blog! haha It's a way for me to document my journey. 

Micah is saying everything now. He can pretty much make sentences too! He says Mom all the time and I love it. It's like the best sound in the world. I'm sure I won't be saying this next year...but right now it's music to my ears. Tomorrow is our last music class. 8 weeks flew by so fast. I'm getting ready to sign up for some summer classes. Not sure what I'm going to do. Probably keep a lot of open time so I can go to the pool :) So excited about the pool this year. So many things to look forward to this summer. Tennessee...Tennessee... Here we come!! I can't wait to spend quality time with both sides of our family. It's been so long since we took a vacation with the Hooker family. (Like actually all going somewhere)  I feel like it's been so long since those days at Kentucky lake. I'm sure we will be doing some good ole fishing in Tennessee. I'm not real big into that but I know M will love it!

Next week I'm taking Rachel and the boys to the Zoo on Monday. Rachel took off of work because her nanny from Chicago is coming in to help her while Hannah visits family back home. I'm excited to take all the boys. They will love it!!

Spring is in the air and on the ground around here. Micah sat in some flowers falling from the trees. I'm so grateful I don't have allergies here. I feel like the pollen is everywhere. I mopped the floors on Monday and saw green pollen all over the mop...ew!! So gross. Glad none of us are struggling with it and hope it continues this way.

Love you all

EASTER!!

HE is RISEN!!! He's alive and I'm forgiven, heaven's gate are open wide! He rose again and now I feel a relief that I will be going to heaven. Not because I'm a good person or done anything but by GRACE alone. I just love that I am good enough. He loves me and I don't need to DO anything to get into heaven. So thankful for the truth that sets me free of a life of searching for something that's not there. I have it all. It is finished. He finished it for me and now I can live for HIM.

I hope you all had a wonderful Easter celebration. What good news to celebrate! Finding some candy in eggs always helps kids love it too! We had fun at my sister's even though it was rainy out. We still got to go outside to hunt for some eggs.

Micah had so much fun searching for those eggs. He also loves smarties and that's all he got in his eggs. He had too much sugar yesterday, but all in good fun. We had a nice visit with everyone and enjoyed the Honey Baked Ham and sides. Hannah made an awesome cheesy potato casserole. Of course all the kids loved the mac and cheese. Micah actually ate a good portion of the ham too.

We went to the late service at church and Micah was able to take a short nap in the car before we got to Hannah's house. We enjoyed the Sunday service. Wished we could have been with ALL of our family. Really missing our Hooker's!

We got a sweet edible arrangement from them and Micah loved all the fruit!! It was such a nice surprise. Even though I answered the door in my robe and wasn't ready for a knock at the door. It was such a nice little gift.

Got to take a picture with my sisters! We never do this anymore! We always feel like a mess after dealing with all the kids. Good thing I'm here to save the picture day!! I'm trying to do better at taking more photos of all of us. We used to be way better at that and now it's all about the kids. Don't get me wrong. They are the best part of us..but sometimes we need one too!!

It's April soon. AHH. How is time going by so fast? I'm going to be turning 30 soon. I don't feel 30 at all. Micah keeps me going and moving and makes me feel young. It helps that I look young too. I'm really trying to feel good by my birthday. Get some toned muscle and build my plank stamina. I try to plank at least 3 times a day. I'm signing up again for work out classes this summer too! 

I'm about to start making a diaper cake for my neighbor's little baby sprinkle. Also looking to buy a few things on Etsy! 

Love you all

Zoo

What a fun day at the zoo! We took our friend Shep and his mom Meg. We all had such a great time and enjoyed the nice weather. Of course it is Good Friday today and there were a ton of people that decided to do the same thing today. Meg is Lot like me and wasn't bother too much by all the chaos and was super laid back. What a fun day!

Wednesday we went to Hannah's house to watch Caleb for a little bit while Hannah went to an Easter egg hunt at Liam and Riley's school. I took the boys to the park and it was also a beautiful day! All the kids took a nap at the same time and Hannah and I had some great one on one time to talk. How nice it was to have some time alone to have a conversation. Naps are the best thing ever!

It's Good Friday AND we are headed to church tonight. I am such an emotional person these days and I hope I can hold it together tonight. Such a powerful story of love for me and everyone that Jesus would lay down his life for my sins. I am so grateful and love that we can celebrate his resurrection on Sunday with all my sister's. It's hard for me to care so much about eggs and bunnies. I get it now. I understand why my parents had a hard time with it too. How do I teach my son what Easter is really about. I love how creative church can be with telling the story to children. I want to do the same. I hope we can do story time with all the kids on Sunday and tell them the real meaning on Easter.

Love you all and hope you have a blessed weekend.

Etsy

AHHH. I'm obsessed with Etsy. I always heard about his website and never cared too much about it. Ever since I bought something for Micah's birthday party I have been nonstop on the website. I have now bought 3 things from there. I'm supposed to receive the banner today. Then I bought a big center piece and today just bought a necklace. It's so crazy. I just love it. I hope all the items I bought are nice. I've never done this before, but I know of many who have and many who sell stuff too. I went to the dollar store today and picked out some stuff for Micah's birthday. Just plates, cups and some goodie bags for the kids. A friend told me today that they usually open up the pool the weekend before memorial day and that means it would be That weekend that I have the party there. So I'm thinking if we can't swim I will have bubbles, sidewalk chalk and may buy a blow up bounce house or my friend offered a blow up pool she just bought. We are going to try it out in April and see how it goes.

I'm going to get a Mickey Cake and cookies and cater Jimmy Johns sandwiches and grab some fruit and side stuff from Costco. I'm trying hard to make it simple and fun. I hope it turns out to be a nice day. If anything though I'm just going to have it in my house. I told Craig we would have to go out and buy a big ball pit for the basement if we had it here. The only way I'm doing it inside is if it rains. Oh I hope it doesn't rain!!!

Ok and third thing I bought today from Etsy is a bar necklace. I've always wanted one since I saw them. By the time I get mine they will be out of style...haha but I don't care. I wanted it to say something meaningful, but I couldn't decide. Maybe Micah or a bible verse. I always want to know what people have written on them. So I decided to do both. I got mine to say Micah 6:8 since it's my son's name and one of my favorite bible verses! I'm so excited to wear it and I can share the bible verse if anyone asks. What a good idea to make someone ask me...?? right?? Maybe I'm getting ahead of myself, but I like the idea.
The problem is it may take a little bit to get here. It's definitely not Amazon Prime.

Micah and I go for a walk all the time now. Except he walks now! He finds all sorts of things: rocks, flowers, sticks, dirt, pine cones. It's fun so see all the things he does. Everything is old to me, but to him it's all new and discovering the world. I love to see him get excited about little things. I tried to take some pictures by our blooming trees. He wanted to wear his had and he looks so cute. I try....but I wish I had a better camera sometimes.

 His ear is waving to you all!

I got no smiles. :(

Yesterday we went to our neighbors sons' first birthday party. The them was "Little Blue Truck," It was so adorable. The theme is from a book and we actually have it. It was a gift from the book exchange I did. Sarah's son Bennett is already walking everywhere. He must have started walking awhile ago. He is really good at it. Poor thing fell on the hard wood floor during his party and got a bloody nose. It was so sad. They bought a little blow up bounce house for their backyard and M loved it! They said it was like $125 at Walmart. Good deal! We could only stay for an hour since it started at 1 p.m. and M was already tired when we got there. He did enjoy eating some cookies before we left!

 Cute cake!

 Micah's cookie face.

Hope you all are having a good Monday!

Terrible what?

He's not two yet, but so far I am hoping I don't get a terrible two year old. He's been so much fun lately. His favorite thing to do is blow bubbles and take slow walks and find rocks. All different size rocks. Also loves to sit in the dirt and dig. My neighbor has a little sand box and he is so content sitting in it. This week the weather has been so beautiful we got to see our neighbors quite a bit. Love hanging out at night since the sun doesn't go down till almost 8 p.m. now.
I've been a little looser with the bedtime schedule. Putting M down around 8:45pm now and he goes right to sleep. It's like those extra few minutes makes him so tired he doesn't put up a fuss at all and it makes me feel good.

Yesterday we met my sister at the Avalon and the kids got to play on the best little play ground. It's half inside and half outside and fenced in. So nice since we had all four kids there. Hannah is a pro at taking care of them all now. She's got it down. I don't know how she does it. Yesterday I was so happy to get home and put M down so I could take a break. She never gets one!! I'm nervous about those days when M stops taking a nap. I hope that never happens. hahah naps forever!!

All day long Micah kept saying, "Liam, and Kahlu (caleb) and now he is even saying Riley!" He cried when they all got in the van. He wanted to go with them. I can understand. He wants to be a part of their clan. You can tell by his face that he had a good ole time!

Today we got to see baby Nolan, except he's not a baby anymore!! He will be one at the end of April. It just goes by so fast! Even with other friends' kids.  I just ordered M a banner from Etsy that is a Mickey Mouse theme for his birthday! I'm getting excited about his birthday. Trying not to make too many decorations this year. Keeping a little bit simpler in case it's crazy windy like it was last year.. haha I learned my lesson on that.

They were so cute playing together. Micah was happy to play with some new toys. Soon we will be buying some little girl clothes for Leslie's new little baby coming in September. I am so thrilled to pick out some cute girl clothes!! There is so many more cute options. I have so many babies I get to visit at the end of this summer. It will be so fun to hold those sweet little things!!

Tonight we are going to a movie night at church and hopefully the zoo tomorrow. It's not supposed to be nice out so we will see how the weather holds up!

Have a great weekend everyone!

A letter to the one I lost

I love you yesterday, today and tomorrow too. I'm thinking about you a lot today. You have been on my mind ever since I lost you. The first few months I didn't have time to grieve. I could only focus on getting better. I was in so much shock and everything went so fast I forgot to cry for you. I was so focused on me and what happened. Trying to heal and deal with my surroundings, but I never thought about what you went through. I know your a fighter. You held on until the last moment. Don't you worry sweet little thing because mommy will never forget you. You left your mark on my belly and in my heart. You left us without feeling the touch from your mom and dad. We would have spoiled you with kisses and hugs. We miss you this week. I'm sure you would have taken your time coming into this world and we would be so excited to meet you.

I should be holding you right now and kissing your chubby cheeks. All I know is even though you were the tiniest little thing, God still has you in the palm of his hand. He gets to see you now.  I thought time would heal the brokenness you left behind, but it seems to only get harder. Everyday I wonder what you would have looked like and what your little cry would sound like. You have made me so much stronger than you will ever know. I have grown in so many ways since you left. I have made so many friends because of you.

Today I cry for you little one. I'm not sad for you, only for us in this world who will never hear you sing, or say MA. You are in a better place and I am happy for that. My tears only are to help me push forward in this life and know the meaning of it. It's taken me 9 months to really understand the reality of this life. We only have so much time here and soon we will be with you. 9 months ago it felt like I would get over you quickly. I was wrong... I will never get over you.

You would have loved your big brother. He would give you even more kisses and love to hold your hand. He would have taught you all you need to know about balls. That's one of his favorite things. He would love you almost as much as I do.

But even though you are gone, you will always be in my heart and on my mind. I don't want to forget you. At first I thought it best to put it all behind me and now I realize I need to do the opposite. You are part of me and that will never change. Thank you for holding on and trying your best to survive. I can only imagine how scary that must have been for you. It's still going to hurt most days when I try to understand why, but for now I will just love you and say a prayer for you.

I love you through and through, yesterday, today and tomorrow too. <3 p="">

Beppe and Pake

What an amazing weekend! We celebrated Liam's 4th birthday and got to see Grandma and Grandpa Hooker.
Liam's birthday party was at Catch Air in Johns Creek about 30 minutes away from both my sisters and my house. It was a great spot to meet in the middle. All the kids had so much fun and even got to dance with a minion. Micah kept waving at him and didn't really understand what was happening. He has never seen a minion before.

Of course it went by really fast and before we knew it we had to leave. Time sure does fly when you (kids) are having fun. 

Grandpa and Grandpa Hooker got here around 3 p.m. and we got to chat before Micah woke up. They brought him a marble roller that their kids used to play with when they were young. He absolutely loves it!! We only give him a few marbles at a time now, but it's so cute to see him play. He doesn't need anyone to help him or play with him. He's content on doing it all on his own. It's so fun to see something so old  still be so relevant. 

I kept telling myself I need to get a picture with Gpa and Gma Hooker with M but I totally forgot!! I can't believe it. However, we had a wonderful time. Craig and I made a lasagna for Saturday night and then had steak dinner on Sunday night. We played a ton of card games but I mostly remember on Sunday I won Rounce and Poop. I almost won five crowns, but Craig beat us all with his last hand. I was still happy with my two wins. I love playing card games with them. It's something we always look forward too with the Hooker's. 

Micah loved every minute of all the attention from everyone. It's not often he's the only little one with a bunch of adults. He loved hanging out and even let us play cards while he was playing with the marble roller. I was surprised. We played two games before he needed something from me. It was pretty awesome to see him be so independent but still act like such a big boy. 

So glad we had the time together this weekend. 

Happy Monday

Two toddlers

I'm tired today. My patience is running thin. These two are so cute and play together well, but are also a lot of work. It doesn't help that Caleb came over here with a cold. When will these kids every be healthy? I feel so bad for both my sisters. Someone is always sick. Another easy thing about having one child. It's been a lot easier to keep him healthy. I'm surprised too since we go to church about 4 times a week and he is in childcare.

Even though only Caleb is here Micah keeps saying, "Liam" and we have to tell him he's at home. It's really cute. Micah associates Caleb with Liam. Which is really smart. 

We got Caleb's haircut this weekend and went to play at a little park nearby. It's in the 70's this week and it is making me so incredibly happy. I love the warm sun on my skin. It feels so good. We are staying home today again since Caleb is still getting over his cold. I'm getting a little stir crazy, but we are able to go outside and play after naps. It actually gets pretty hot outside around 3 p.m. I'm trying to get my steps in this week since I also won't be going to workout class tomorrow.

Micah imitates Caleb and vice versa. So sometimes it's cute and sometimes they are teaching each other bad habits. M is getting more interested in the potty since he sees Caleb on it going poo. Every time I put him on there though he starts to freak out.  Slowly trying to introduce it to him. It seems like I forget about it more than I should be.

It's Liam's birthday this weekend! I can't believe he's turning 4. It's going to be so much fun at Catch Air. I told Rachel it's going to fly by. It always happens when you look forward to something.  Micah loves to run around and he especially loved the ball pit, so hopefully he will not be sick when we go. I'm excited to be with everyone and enjoy some birthday fun!

Ma

Oh how I love the sound of my little guy calling me,"ma!" I hear it so much these days. This morning he practically made his first sentence. He came in bed with me and said,"Daddy shower, ma shower too" can you believe it. I am stunned every morning that this little guy has something new to share with me. At this point he can count to five. Its unbelievable how fast he picks up on everything. I keep telling everyone how much I'm enjoying this age. I literally love being with him. He makes me laugh more and live every day to the fullest. I want to show him everything. I don't even know (or care) where he is supposed to be in his learning stage because he is the smartest boy to me. 

I've been watching this show called New Girl and both girls have bangs. I've been contemplating it for awhile and finally gave myself some the other day. I needed something to spruce up my look.

Last night was our last marriage study session since Craig is out of town next week. We decided to commit to a few things we want to do for our mission. I've decided that I want to help people right here in my own neighborhood around Atlanta. I was thinking I can't give time right now with a one year old but I do go grocery shopping and I could always get extras for people in need. I really want to start donating food, clothes, diapers...necessities that I pick up every week and many families need help with. I realize how important it is for Micah to grow up giving and finding joy in helping others. This is something I will be looking into the next few weeks.

This might sounds weird but I was also thinking how much fun it would be to visit seniors in homes. They all seem to love Micah and he loves them too.

Grandpa and Grandma Hooker are coming to visit us next weekend. They will be staying Saturday the 12 and Sunday. So happy we are on the way home from Florida now! I am sure M will love the attention.

Happy Thursday!!