C&L

C&L

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Sunnyside UP

Good evening...

Today is another great day in Kentucky. The beautiful sunshine can always put a smile on my face. I think being alone in the Winter is probably the hardest for me. I think most people have a better attitude during the summer, but I swear I get a certain high from the sun.

I know many women are sun bathers just like me.. and it's a feeling of warmth and comfort that somehow makes everything in your life feel OK.



Anyways .. as the summer approaches even though I love being outside.. it's easier to spot couples everywhere I go. And although I knew this part would be hard, sometimes I just want to give up and go back home to my family and my husband. Everyday I ask myself... What's really keeping me here? Is it worth it? Will this ruin my marriage? So many questions and every time I come to the conclusion of regret.



Before I started dating my husband I really had no direct plans for my life. I grew up singing since I was two years old with my family and loved performing. I was "Annie" my senior year of high school, which was the highlight of my life. After that my teacher wanted me to keep going with my singing and acting career, but once I saw how much it would cost to go to one of those school's... I was scared off. I lost all control of what I wanted. My parents never really pushed me to go to a theater school and I let me dream fade away because of money.

I went to a community college for 2 years with a girlfriend from high school. We really didn't care about our classes, just wanted to pass I guess. I was still dating my high school boyfriend at the time actually thinking I was surely going to marry him and have a family. I didn't even care about having a career. I just gave up on myself for awhile.

First off-let me say that marrying someone out of high school and having a family is not a bad thing.. not at all. But, I knew in the back of my head it wasn't all I wanted to do with my life. And that's why it was wrong for me



My husband and I actually knew each other in high school.. this might sound mean but, He was the chubby, funny kid and I was in the popular group. I worked so hard to get to the top and for what?? haha that's a whole nother story.

After about a year and a half of community college I was hanging out with my girlfriend and a different group of friends (since the popular girls seemed to ditch me after high school) and Craig was one of them. He was this awesome, fun-loving, charismatic, clown that made everyone laugh, and all the sudden he was tall, handsome, tan and built. Who the heck was he?? I don't remember him like that in high school. Wow.. but it was Craig.. the chubby, funny kid.

Craig was going to school in Southern Illinois in Carbondale at the time and would come home every so often. Every time he came home and hung out with all of us.. I had the best time with him. Believe it or not we were both the clown's of the group, always making everyone laugh. We were also the only ones who would sing karaoke together and we didn't care what anyone thought of us.. as long as we were having fun. And when my mom asked me, " Who is this Craig guy?" I Said, " Oh no one, just my friend." Of course your mom is always right. She made me look at him a whole different way. Why are moms always right?? Well.. thank goodness!

Anyways .. one thing led to another and I broke up with my high school boyfriend, and starting dating Craig.

What a great support system. Something I had never had before. Someone who wanted the best for me and pushed me to go to school. He told me about the broadcast program at SIU and how great it was. At first I thought it was a bad idea to go to the same school as him. But I knew I was going not only for him, but for myself.

He was the best- there for me in my ups and downs.

Anyways... because of him I finally had a goal: To become a news reporter, to be on TV informing the world.

And that's why I am here. By myself. My husband has always pushed me to be the best. He is the greatest support system, even though I chose this place over him. He actually understands.. because he was there through it all and in the end he gave me this opportunity.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Home Is Where Your Story Begins

Here I am. A newlywed living alone in a single room apartment with my best friend (who's a dog) trying to reach my dreams to become a reporter.
I left everything behind for this chance, a chance to prove to everyone and myself that I can do it. I can go all the way.
For those of you out there in this blogger world, I hope you can except me as one of your own. I am looking to put my story out there to give others hope, love, and the strength to make your dreams come true.
I will try to give the best of what I have everyday to this.. and maybe one day in the future I will embrace each day of my post.

Well.. to start off my first ever blog.. I would like to first say how lucky I am to have the most wonderful husband in the whole world! He actually let me leave to follow my dreams. I don't know most couples who get married and separate to follow their careers, but I'm sure it happens and if not..then were the first.
We have been married now for 6 months and have only lived together for 4 weeks.
.. and Yes it's very sad.. but there's an explanation.
And for many women, it's not the right move. But for me .. I knew this was my opportunity and if I didn't take it I knew it could slip away forever. I can see myself living the rest of my life with this man.. but couldn't see giving up what I've worked so long for. A career driven women who wants a family, can this be possible?
We will soon find out....