You're Killing me Smalls

Every single time I come on here I feel like I'm saying the same thing. I've been so busy and I can't believe how long it's been since I've written. Okay, I know...but SERIOUSLY life is getting hard and right when I think it's hard, it gets harder. It's been a tough few weeks with Craig and Noelle getting a bad cold and then Craig hurting his back so bad he couldn't walk or even really move. It was pretty scary. We took him to the doctor yesterday and he thinks he has a muscle sprain and gave him some muscle relaxers and anti-inflammatories. While he's been literally sitting on the couch or laying in bed I've been doing everything and feeling super rundown. I'm at my wits end some days and others I am feeling so grateful.

Today was a grateful day. One that I'm super thankful for and needed. I had taken Micah to school and had a doc appt. Then Noelle fell asleep in the car and we went over to a friends for lunch. I had more time since I knew she wouldn't sleep at home after her car nap. Then they both laid down at 3pm. and at 5 p.m. we left for church. It was a parent's night out!! We dropped them off and headed to meet a couple for dinner. I was so excited to get out without the kids. I know I've had a great cruise and vacation, but these kids... are a lot. I mean nonstop all day 24/7 as a single mom(for the past 2 weeks). Craig was able to get out of the house with me, but still very slow and can't really handle much with the kids. He can't pick up or really bend over at all yet. Some days I imagine getting a back injury and sleeping on the couch all day. Sounds kinda good right now... haha


So I'm just trying to keep my head above water and praying more than ever. Praying for patience and love. Love for my husband and healing. Love for my kids and to show them God's love even when I'm not feeling it. Love for others when I feel like I don't even have time to love myself. God is LOVE and I'm so glad I don't have to be perfect to be loved by him. I am so far from it. I need his grace every day, every second, and I don't pretend to have it all together. I love this life, but some days I want to hide in the closet and pretend I'm laying down on the beach again with no cares or worries and NO CELL PHONES!!!! Those things are driving me crazy too! I am trying my best to put it down and grabbing a book instead (which is not like me at all). I want my kids and son to see me doing something other than looking at my phone. Those things. UGH Love/hate relationship.

Anyways, I appreciate your prayers through this stage I remember all too well with Micah. The 18 month old (What was I thinking having kids?) stage. Oh yes. I remember and I keep telling myself I KNOW it gets better. I love this stage, but if I was any older (and had back problems) there is absolutely no way I could keep up with her. I'm on my toes constantly finding more and more wrinkles on my face each day as I stress out with her. She is the one who will keep me up at night. Crazy, dare devil, stubborn, beautiful child of God. Oh how I can't wait to see what she does or what kind of mom she will be.

We are missing everyone more and more each day. But we love talking and praying about our family and keeping them in our hearts and minds constantly.

I love you all so much! Thank you for keeping up with me.

BEACH Days, and VBX

It's been such a crazy 2 weeks ya'll!! I am finally sitting down and taking a break from all the chaos. Virginia Beach was amazing!! We had so much fun (except for traveling) and could not believe how everything worked out perfectly. The house was gorgeous with a pool, patio, grill bar, canoe and paddle boat. Never a dull second around with all these kids. They would swim for a while, then get on a boat and then we would all take a trip to the beach. My kids loved the sand and the waves. Noelle finally got used to playing in the sand... it took her a few times. She enjoyed watching all the kids. We did realize that she was super clingy!! As long as I wasn't around she would be fine with anyone else. If I WAS around she would cry way more and want me to hold her constantly. The second day she was taking good naps and almost back to normal. By the time we left she was sleeping great.. we probably needed an extra week for her to get used to everyone. She's just as that stage of life where momma and dadda are her best buds. Speaking of best buds... Micah and his cousins were a precious site. I had been longing for the day where they could all be together again. I practically never saw him the whole time except when I did he was laughing and playing with Caleb and Liam. He never left their side. They were the three amigos. We all took a day to go see Grandpa Pete and GG and Micah even went twice because he wanted to go with Caleb and Liam. I'm so glad we could spend time with them all and see them with our kids again.

We got home and Micah really wanted a pet. So we decided to get him a fish. Of course the easiest fish was a Betta. Micah picked out a baby boy and named him Caleb!! So looks like we will be having a Caleb around here.  This was on Friday morning we picked out a fish because all week Micah, Noelle and I had VBX at our church. I volunteered as a leader for 1st and 2nd graders because Micah was able to participate this year. I couldn't believe how much energy it took out of me. I had to leave the house by 8 a.m. (unheard of for me so far) drop Noelle off at childcare, get Micah checked in and then get ready to check in my 15 kids. The first day I only had one helper who was a 5th grade boy, and he became one of the kids. No help at all. So it was a struggle. The first day is always the hardest, but really I had an amazing time showing the kids love and teaching them how Christ loves them. It was a really special time and I didn't realize how these older kids needed love as much as they did. Many of them needed to be hugged a lot....more than I had imagined. I had to even ask a friend if it was normal and she said kids need affection even in their older years. The boys were even needed a lot of attention from me. I wish I would have had more time to be one on one with them. I'm glad I could do what I did and felt my service was appreciated by each and every single one of them. I wasn't sure if my body was going to make is through, but I kept pushing. Poor Noelle was done. For some reason they only had it four days and so on Friday Noelle slept in until almost 9 a.m. She was wiped. She also got a little cold from being in the nursery for four days.

Here's a pic of me and my kids. This was Wednesday when I got an adult helper!!

 doing a crazy face!!

This one is starting to beat up on her brother. We have to tell her to be gentle and not hurt Micah. Never thought I would be saying this!!

Micah's last soccer practice was on Tuesday night!

So anyways, this morning we went for a bike ride. We are starting to do this more as a family (at 8 a.m.) because we got the pull along for Micah's birthday. We have to get out early in the morning and then we stop and feed some ducks. It's been really fun to be together and both kids love riding in it. This morning I pulled the kids and it was a great workout for me since I haven't been to the gym in 2 weeks.., YIKES!! 

Back to normal next week and hopefully feel normal again. Micah is going to a small city school class with his friend Tues and Thurs from 9-11. So at least it's something. Also Craig and Micah are having a day date today and seeing Incredibles 2. I'm a little jealous, but I figured it being Father's weekend, he should go!

Hope you all have a wonderful weekend!!