An ectopic pregnancy is when the egg attaches to your fallopian tube instead of your uterus. It happens to 1 of out 50 pregnancies. I wish I would have known it could happen to me. I was not the "type" of person this happens too. I didn't fit into any of the criteria. However, I had all the signs and symptoms, yet no knowledge of it. And of course I didn't think something that was uncommon could happen to me. I mean I had the best first pregnancy ever. No sickness, no pain, just the love and hope of a beautiful baby growing inside of me.
Around the middle of June:
I had been spotting for awhile and knew something was wrong with me. At first I thought it was my body trying to get back on a regular cycle from breastfeeding so I didn't concern too much with it. It lasted for about 3 weeks so I called my OB in Plano and told the nurse about it. She said she was concerned it might be some type of infection so gave me some medication to clear it up. I took the medication and after the five days it went away for about one day and then started back up. During this time my family and I were headed to a whole new life in Georgia. I didn't really have time to figure out my issues until we were settled and ready to start finding doctors.
I had gotten a type of period at least 3 times during that month and one day felt very tired. Unusually tired. Even though I was bleeding I knew something was different. I took a pregnancy test and it was positive...and I mean very CLEAR positive. My heart sank because I knew I was losing the baby. However, in a way it seemed more manageable to find out right away and never to get excited about it. I called a new OB around July 5th and no one could get me in until July 27th. That was the longest few weeks of my life. Waiting to find out if the baby was there or not. Thank goodness I had my one year old running around making me laugh and smile through out the day.
The day I was going to the doctor I felt like I wanted to throw up. I was so nervous/excited but trying to keep my cool. I dropped off Micah at the mall with my sister and she was able to watch him while I went to get checked out. At the doctors office they treated me as if I had a baby. The whole time they kept asking me if I was "happy" about the pregnancy and I tried to explain to them I was pretty sure it was gone by now. I didn't want to be anything. I wanted to take my feelings out of the situation and just be. As I waited in a room for about 15 minutes (felt like an hour) to see the doctor I prayed to God that this baby would be there and I would have a little miracle on the way. She came in and told me congratulations it looks like I was 7 weeks along from the urine sample. Again I tried to explain my situation and kept my cool. Trying to say, "I want to make sure it's there before I feel anything." She laid me down and explained that it's all in God's hands. She started doing the ultrasound and I was intently looking at the screen. Silence. Nothing. She told me she didn't see anything. She was concerned because she didn't even see a sac.
OK so I know how women get pregnant and a little here and there...but not to the extent I think I should have. The doctor said she thought my body already aborted the baby and that she needed to make sure by doing blood tests. So after this, I was hopeless. I knew there was no baby in there but then after googling everything I saw many times the baby can be too small to see and they need to find out with blood tests. Two days later I went in for blood tests and then it came back my numbers were going down so everything looked good (i guess you could say) for a miscarriage. That week on Thursday I started feeling a lot of pain. I knew most miscarriages experience a lot of pain. It didn't feel like cramps and it was hurting in the lowest part of my abdomen. It was so painful I couldn't move for several hours. I called my sister and she ended up coming that night to help me. The next day I went in to get my blood taken again. I told the nurse about my pain, but she said it was normal. Everyone I talked to said it was painful until the sac comes out. Usually it's stops hurting as bad. I never really put it together. Why was I having so much pain if she never saw a sac? The next day I was feeling better but still really sore in my abdomen like someone had done surgery on me (yikes foreseeing the future here).
Saturday I went out with my sister and her friends. We drank and laughed and had a good time. I was trying to get over everything and felt like I could start over and maybe even start trying again soon. I know a lot of my friends got pregnant pretty fast after they had a miscarriage. Sunday I was fine. Feeling better and ready to start a new week.
On Monday I woke up feeling great. Micah and I went to the mall and then Costco and got a ton of groceries. After putting M down to sleep I called my mom. We were talking on the phone and I told her I was having some pain again. All the sudden out of now where I felt like something exploded inside of me. Such excruciating pain like someone was stabbing me and wouldn't pull out the knife. I had my mom on speaker and told her I was in so much pain I could barely talk or move. She told me to put something warm on it or take a bath. I hung up with her and for the next 2 hours I was in the bath (with my clothes on) and thought I was going to pass out. I was so scared because I had left my phone in the basement and I couldn't move. I didn't know if Micah was crying, but thought at least he's in his crib. He was in the safest spot.
After taking about 7 ibuprofen and two hours later I could get out of the tub. It was a constant stabbing pain and I knew this was different. If every women had to go through this much pain for a miscarriage I feel like they would have warned me. I think everyone has a different pain tolerance and sometimes you don't want to feel like a baby. So you push yourself to the extreme....I was thinking everyone had to go through what I was going through...but I was wrong.
Craig got home that night and I told him what happened. It was hard to explain because at that time I was able to walk around again. He really couldn't understand what I had went through. I thought it would be like last time and I would be sore but it would go away. I tried to lay down in our bed and couldn't breath. If I would laugh, burp, hiccup, or cough it would hurt so bad. I went downstairs to sleep on the couch since I couldn't lay all the way down and when I didn't sleep AT ALL I knew I had to see a doctor. Breathing was difficult and my whole abdomen area was so sore and I kept having a constant pain in my right side.
I called the nurse on Tuesday morning and told her I thought my pain was too much for a normal miscarriage. I explained my symptoms and she said it sounded normal, but I should come in to make sure so I could sleep easy. I almost had a thought to not go...almost. I said OK I'm coming in. I need to make sure this is right. I had my neighbor (which I'm so thankful for) come over until Craig got home.
As I was driving to the OB's office there were so many scenarios running through my head. At first I just wanted them to confirm I was having normal pain for a miscarriage. As I was sitting in the office waiting for my name to be called it hit me that I wasn't going to be in and out. This could be the beginning of a long process. My name was finally called and I sat in a room waiting to get an internal ultrasound. The doctor, who was filling in for mine, came in and asked me about my symptoms. She started doing the ultrasound and called another doctor in. They both said there was an unusual amount of fluid in my uterus due to the fact there was no sac or baby inside. She asked me if anyone lived close and could take me to the ER. I was in a little bit of shock, but had a feeling this was coming. I called my husband, but after talking to him we decided I should drive myself. The reason being that it was 3 o'clock and the roads were about the get jam packed. Micah was sleeping and I had the car with the only car seat in it. I told the doctor while I starting breaking down in tears that I had to drive myself. There was really no other option. She advised against it, but told me to check in the ER and tell them to rule out an ectopic pregnancy. As I was crying I just kept telling her that I had never done this before and was unsure of the process. She told me she would call the hospital and let them know I was coming.
I tried to hold back my tears on the way to the hospital because I knew it would only hurt my situation. As my phone kept blinking it only had 15 percent battery life...that's exactly how I felt. I didn't know how much more I could take but I tried to charge my battery as much as I could before heading into the hospital. When I got inside they were actually very friendly. Too bad they had no idea who I was or even acted like anyone had called. So again I tried to explain my situation from the beginning. I told the nurse I even suspected that I had appendicitis. This is how little I was familiar with ectopic. I really thought there was something else wrong with me.
I was able to get in a room pretty fast and waited for awhile to get my blood taken and they did a catheter urine test (FYI not cool) to rule out a bladder infection. The doctor came in and asked me about my HCG levels and honestly I really didn't know much. All I knew is that they were going down. He pressed on my abdomen all over and said they needed to rule out appendicitis. I had to wait about an hour to get a CAT scan done. Again this is the first time I have ever been to a hospital (other than having a baby) so everything was very new to me. Another hour went by and the doctor came in and said my appendix looks fine but something has ruptured and I had internal bleeding. They called my OB's office and had the doctor on call come in and look at my results. Later on another NEW doctor (to me) told me it looks like I had an ectopic pregnancy that ruptured and there's a lot of blood around my stomach. She said it was possible that my fallopian tube may need to be removed.
So there I was laying in a hospital bed finally understanding all the pain I had to withstand the last few days. In a way I was so happy to be at a hospital knowing that they could fix me. I was so happy I decided to go in just to be able to make sure everything was "OK." Now I could finally rest easy....wait not yet. Hold on. I'm by myself about to get emergency surgery and I was by myself. On top of all that my phone was out of batteries. So not the best situation ever. The nurse was able to charge my phone a bit so I could retrieve some numbers off of it. I called Craig and we tried to have my sister come over but in the end there were things that we couldn't change and overall Craig was home with Micah and I knew my son was safe and being taken care of. This was a sad realization that I had to go through this alone, but I knew with strength I had from prayer and the love I felt from family I would be OK.
More waiting...
I had to wait until around 1 a.m. to go in for surgery. Not only was I already exhausted and didn't sleep, but I was nervous that my doctor was tired as well. As my nerves were becoming strong and my heart beating so fast I was surprisingly overall calm because I knew where I was going if anything went wrong. Let me tell you something. I had so much peace in my soul because God was with me the whole time. I was actually never alone and really never felt alone. As they strapped me down in a freezing room I prayed to God to watch over me and the doctors. What a weird feeling to know in a few seconds you would be out and people would be cutting you open and looking into your body. It was more of a black out feeling.
I don't know how long it took, but when I woke up I felt the most pain I had ever had in my life. It was like my stomach was open and my organs were falling out of my body. I was in shock and started shivering from being so cold. It wasn't for a few minutes that felt like forever when they gave me some medication to help the pain.
I woke up very groggy and took awhile for me to be able to get up. I found out they had to remove my fallopian tube from all the damage. Craig got to the hospital around 12 p.m. and was by my side trying to make me laugh. By 6 p.m. on Wednesday I got to eat a soft diet at the hospital and they discharged me. Thank goodness my sister was able to watch Micah that day and the next two days stayed with me while I recovered.
The last few days it's been hard for me to sleep because I keep thinking about all the signs and how it happened. I wish I would have known more about this type or pregnancy so I could have avoided this situation. The signs: Bleeding for awhile without having heavy period. Ultrasound showing no signs of baby or sac. Having major pain (not cramps) in my lower abdominal. Feeling sore around my entire stomach area and not being able to breath very well.
I am so glad I listened to my body and went in because I don't know if I would be here today. Internal bleeding is a serious problem and if it doesn't stop it's fatal.
I'm not blaming anyone, but nowadays sometimes doctors just don't have the time to invest in you or your situation. I know mine was different since I had just moved and only met my doctor for the first time during the ultrasound. Still I wish I would have looked at all the options and maybe could have asked about this type of pregnancy before it was too late.
As for me, there is no going back. There really is no "next time" because it's over and done. I hope that someone may read this and ask their doctor to check their fallopian tube if they are having this type of pain. The only thing I can do now is share my story and pray it doesn't happen to anyone I know. Miscarriages are hard enough to deal with let alone having emergency surgery on top of it all. I am very open about what happened to me and am praying more women can talk about loss. Most of us will go through it in our lifetime. The more we share, the more we feel connected and can heal.
At this point I am prone to have another ectopic pregnancy and will need to be very careful going forward. This may have pushed back us trying for a little while. I ask you for your prayers and quick healing emotionally and physically. Thank you for all your support. All I can say is listen to your body. You are the only one who can tell when something is wrong. You are worth it!!
Today I can't understand why God wanted me to go through this, but I know it was in his plan. One day it will be clear to me.
Love you all and thanks for reading.
The information below is from the Mayo Clinic.
An ectopic pregnancy occurs when a fertilized egg implants somewhere other than the main cavity of the uterus. Pregnancy begins with a fertilized egg. Normally, the fertilized egg attaches itself to the lining of the uterus.
An ectopic pregnancy most often occurs in one of the tubes that carry eggs from the ovaries to the uterus (fallopian tubes). This type of ectopic pregnancy is known as a tubal pregnancy. In some cases, however, an ectopic pregnancy occurs in the abdominal cavity, ovary or neck of the uterus (cervix).
An ectopic pregnancy can't proceed normally. The fertilized egg can't survive, and the growing tissue might destroy various maternal structures. Left untreated, life-threatening blood loss is possible.
Early treatment of an ectopic pregnancy can help preserve the chance for future healthy pregnancies.
Up to an estimated 20 in every 1,000 pregnancies are ectopic. Various factors are associated with ectopic pregnancy, including:
- Previous ectopic pregnancy. If you've had one ectopic pregnancy, you're more likely to have another.
- Inflammation or infection. Inflammation of the fallopian tube (salpingitis) or an infection of the uterus, fallopian tubes or ovaries (pelvic inflammatory disease) increases the risk of ectopic pregnancy. Often, these infections are caused by gonorrhea or chlamydia.
- Fertility issues. Some research suggests an association between difficulties with fertility — as well as use of fertility drugs — and ectopic pregnancy.
- Structural concerns. An ectopic pregnancy is more likely if you have an unusually shaped fallopian tube or the fallopian tube was damaged, possibly during surgery. Even surgery to reconstruct the fallopian tube can increase the risk of ectopic pregnancy.
- Contraceptive choice. Pregnancy when using an intrauterine device (IUD) is rare. If pregnancy occurs, however, it's more likely to be ectopic. The same goes for pregnancy after tubal ligation — a permanent method of birth control commonly known as "having your tubes tied." Although pregnancy after tubal ligation is rare, if it happens, it's more likely to be ectopic.
- Smoking. Cigarette smoking just before you get pregnant can increase the risk of an ectopic pregnancy. And the more you smoke, the greater the risk.
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