As I was in Target yesterday and M had a toddler break down, I thought how useful a helmet would be at this stage. I remember the days I thought getting M a helmet would be devastating and sad for him to go through. I still see a slight flat spot on his head, but I think it's just because I'm his mom. Now I wish I had a helmet for him. I don't know why, but for some reason when he gets mad or upset he flings his head back and throws himself on the floor. When we are in the basement it's no big deal because I have carpet and I'm not worried. Yesterday, however, we were in the store on the tile when it happened. I had a few things in my hands when I tried to pick him up and somehow I lost my grip. He flung himself back and landed on the floor. I seriously thought he cracked his head open. I almost lost it. I picked him and he was screaming and crying on my shoulder. So much so I really was scared. We got to the bathroom and my shoulder had blood spots on it. I realized he had bit his tongue and was bleeding.
My heart was hurting so bad when I put him in the car. I was pulling out of Target when someone almost backed up right into me. It happened so fast. I slammed on my breaks and honked my horn. Again my heart sank. I started crying so hard. I wanted to get home and never go out again. If you know me at all that's a total 180.
When M was a baby I remember feeling great. Never once did I have a meltdown (except the one time when I brought him home from the hospital, but I don't really count that one) Now I am experiencing the whole meltdown...for myself. Crying I can deal with, having a fit.. whatever. Feeling like I hurt my son and literally let him go was the worst. He fell asleep on the car ride home and all day and night I watched him closely. I thought maybe he would have internal swelling and I was getting nervous. If there's one thing I know it's that my son's head is capable of pretty much anything. I am so glad God made us with hard heads or this toddler stage would be even tougher.
Anyways, glad I got that out. I'm having a hard time forgiving myself for this incident. I know Micah is over it, so I should be too.
I need to give a shout out to my friend and neighbor, Leslie. She has been so amazing to me. I really haven't been able to meet many people yet. She is seriously great. Stops by a lot or invites me to come over. It's so nice to be steps away from someone you like and have great conversations with. Craig doesn't get home until 6:30 sometime 7 so I don't get to talk to him much. He's working a lot and makes it even harder for me to be home all day by myself. I am grateful God put me here with the chance to be so close to another "Out and About MOM." She really does remind me a lot of myself when Micah was younger. That's probably why we get along so well.
Micah is up from his nap already. Thanks for reading and I hope you all have a great Tuesday.
Oh yes and here's a Toss Back Tuesday picture from when Micah was about 6 months old.
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