As I'm writing this ....tears are streaming down my face. That's how it's been most of the day today. Every time I think I have no more tears left... I'm mistaken. I have lots of tears to shed for my fur baby. She's been with me for about 13 years now. Traveled to Southern Illinois, Kentucky, Texas, Chicago and back to Texas and now her resting spot: Georgia. I'm sure this is never an easy decision for anyone. Today my heart is heavy and almost couldn't breathe after I made the appointment this morning.
I was woken up around 6 a.m. this morning by Lotte. She needed to go out because she wasn't feeling good. It was happening again and I knew it was time. I don't want her to have a bad quality of life. She is having accidents in the house and feels horrible about it but can't control herself when she's not feeling well. I have prayed and prayed to God to give me a sign. And I feel like I got it. I took her to the park today with Micah. I let her off the leash and we ran around together like old times. She seemed spunky and happy. I know my heart wants to keep thinking she's fine...but inside I know this is the right thing. Now I'm looking at her and trying my best to smile and love on her...but only tears come out. When I got her as a puppy, I could have never imagined how much I would love her. I am grateful to have been reading a book called, "Holding on to Hope" which says to always be grateful for the time God has given you with the ones you love. Isn't that a great way to look at it? Honestly, I am so grateful for the most loving, loyal, beautiful dog I could ever ask for. The hardest part for me is knowing there is no doggie heaven. She has no soul. She was made just for me to be here with me until I was ready to let her go. Saturday at 11:30 a.m. I hope you can all think of me while I bring her into the clinic. I will be with her the whole time. I'm so happy she can go peacefully and know that I love her. It will take me a long time to get over her. She is the best dog ever. She has been a protector of all O'Neal babies since Averie. Keeping watch while they take naps and never leaving their side.
To CharLotte:
I will always remember you as the little puppy who got so excited to see me she would tinkle. Oh Lotte Potty, you are so smart and loving. You care for every baby and always stay close. I trust you to always come back because you love me. You would never leave me. Anytime I see a squirrel I will think of how you would run after them and jump up the tree never giving up. Even jumping out of my car once to get a squirrel.. but it wasn't your time to leave me yet. You were my only friend when I moved to Kentucky to start my career. I was alone.. but when I got home you made me feel happy and loved. If you only knew how much I care for you. That's why I have to let you go. You will leave this world but always be in my heart.
Love you forever
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